so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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