and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
