So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
