threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
