I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
