Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
