Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.