Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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