sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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