Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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