Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
