question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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