so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
