Dual....:-)
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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