feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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