i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
