Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize