i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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