PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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