yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize