i'm signing you up for texting rehab
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
