i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
