am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
