ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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