break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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