Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(602): View more from Arizona

i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(602): i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number... http://tfl.nu/4ee1

Replies (10) Good night (2218) Bad night (632)
Favorite
(207): View more from Maine

I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(207): I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers http://tfl.nu/79gv

Replies (9) Good night (2842) Bad night (555)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton. http://tfl.nu/gz37

Replies (20) Good night (801) Bad night (2376)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.

(1-801): View more from Utah

We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.

(801): View more from Utah

I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high. (1-801): We could get him to build Inspector Gadget. (801): I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!! http://tfl.nu/5lpc

Replies (31) Good night (7105) Bad night (776)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning. http://tfl.nu/a0no

Replies (8) Good night (3634) Bad night (921)
Favorite
(712): View more from Iowa

Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(712): Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore. http://tfl.nu/hjm6

Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (3333)
Favorite
(631): View more from New York

Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells? http://tfl.nu/xi2s

Replies (3) Good night (3436) Bad night (879)
Favorite
(330): View more from Ohio

She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(330): She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo. http://tfl.nu/dqo9

Replies (20) Good night (3467) Bad night (1395)
Favorite
(563): View more from Iowa

Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(563): Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit. http://tfl.nu/it5v

Replies (8) Good night (1462) Bad night (690)
Favorite
(336): View more from North Carolina

I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

It's gameday bitch. Man up.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp

Replies (2) Good night (1451) Bad night (611)
Favorite
(901): View more from Tennessee

As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(901): As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you... http://tfl.nu/9ceg

Replies (10) Good night (532) Bad night (1917)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job http://tfl.nu/u9q1

Replies (4) Good night (1089) Bad night (274)
Favorite
(+61): View more from Australia

You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+61): You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you. http://tfl.nu/171s

Replies (6) Good night (1164) Bad night (256)
Favorite
(203): View more from Connecticut

We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Priorities

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(203): We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades (1-203): Priorities http://tfl.nu/v803

Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (222)
Favorite
(718): View more from New York

I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"

(917): View more from New York City

Rigtt?!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(718): I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts" (917): Rigtt?! http://tfl.nu/6krm

Replies (0) Good night (523) Bad night (261)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: