Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.

Fav 24 4006 878
share tweet
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.

Fav 8 3430 929
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(631): View more from New York

New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.

Fav 164 9429 1209
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.

Fav 91 6302 1468
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(712): View more from Iowa

Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

Fav 8 6397 1415
share tweet
(206): View more from Washington

Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.

Fav 8 3625 1474
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.

Fav 30 924 6317
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive

Fav 2 546 372
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless

Fav 2 317 170
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT