After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
