Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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