Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out