oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
