Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂