Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..

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  (360): No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down.. http://tfl.nu/yoii
  Replies (15) Good night (1525) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person

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  (248): I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person http://tfl.nu/uj7d
  Replies (13) Good night (3631) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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  (314): Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl http://tfl.nu/2p2x
  Replies (43) Good night (2749) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?

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  (215): I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months? http://tfl.nu/2j7i
  Replies (7) Good night (635) Bad night (3880)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.

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  (408): We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old. http://tfl.nu/3zai
  Replies (17) Good night (5834) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend

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  (651): i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend http://tfl.nu/co7p
  Replies (26) Good night (857) Bad night (5713)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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  (973): we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical. http://tfl.nu/h352
  Replies (131) Good night (14466) Bad night (3034)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.

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  (404): he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip. http://tfl.nu/ir9l
  Replies (9) Good night (934) Bad night (3919)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.

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  (586): apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that. http://tfl.nu/dpbh
  Replies (13) Good night (7671) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2283) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)

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  (413): Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option) http://tfl.nu/d3t6
  Replies (13) Good night (4090) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won

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  (570): not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won http://tfl.nu/hlfr
  Replies (3) Good night (1754) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

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  (978): I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest. (1-978): I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text. http://tfl.nu/56wf
  Replies (4) Good night (1701) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
  Replies (9) Good night (551) Bad night (1701)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

  (406): View more from Montana

  YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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  (570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb
  Replies (2) Good night (700) Bad night (213)

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