i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize