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Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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