This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
