I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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