Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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