My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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