I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
