R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
