Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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