'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
