I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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