tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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