Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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