to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
