You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
