Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
