Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
