They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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