I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
