Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
