He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize