Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
