I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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