My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
