I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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