bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
