I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
