somebody snuck up and got me drunk
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i believe in u and ur pee
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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