Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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