Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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