i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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