Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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