Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Never underestimate the power of titties
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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