Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
