break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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