I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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