My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
