Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
