Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
