Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
